i can 't handle my autistic child anymore

Obviously the woman was overwhelmed. Hun. Is she not allowed to have one? Hmmm? Autistics should be treated with the dignity of every other person, including speaking about them in a public forum. And, of course, theres no assistance for our son. If the people in those groups knew how you feel they wouldnt want, or feel comfortable, having you as a member. We also complain about our spouses. There is nothing wrong about a parent complaining or feeling sorrow for their autistic child. Its not the same. They are shunned by society right along with Autistic people. Im too smart to be Autistic. I think doing this by responding to a support thread is great. :). Our children, and therefore us and all family members, have been thrown into a disease that is painful, is horrible, that is hard to watch someone suffer from. Not all sunshine and rainbows??? Thats how this mom of autistic feels and dont judge cuz we each have a path thats different from each others. There is no epidemic of autism. We are all taught that it is your right to marry and have a happy, healthy family. Whats that based on? The highests I have had is 8 in a mainstream class of 29 students. The reason your son acts this was is NOT because of autism, its because he has a worthless sake of shit like you for an egg donor. You dont have the relevant experience. You know how those of us labeled high functioning are just the stereotypical geniuses therefore nothing could ever go wrong with us??? Everyone has bad days, but this post outlines why to stop complaining about your autistic children and what you can do instead!). Cant wait to see your list ten years from now, when reality has set in. No such thing. I would not need to give up my life and my energy for their constant care and well being. That is not whining that is a fact. In the ten years since, Ive averaged two hospitalizations a year. Dont blast it all over a public media space. Then I went no contact with my mother. No kidding. Have u actually rwad the complete article? Just because your life is manageable with your perfect authistic kid and 4 normal kids, does not mean it is the same for the rest of us. I have an autistic daughter who has stopped eating and drinking. I try to post very little about my son in a negative light, because I dont want people to view him as a monster or hate him. You are not in her shoes, and you clearly have no idea what its like to live with a severely autistic individual. They may have never known any autistic people before knowing your child. Your email address will not be published. Good for you, you must be soooooo perfect! Clearly hates her child?! Hates her child? You have a baby sitter?! A child with autism can learn to calm themselves by being taught what to do when anxiety strikes. The kind of mom who would make one of these namby-pamby videos and have the idiocy to post it has issues beyond her child with autism. Autism IS AN EPIDEMIC and my son is not alone in his need for a lifetime of care. She should go to a therapist to work out her antagonistic feelings towards her kid. They would grow to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, and individualized on their own. Then they reach their teens and you realise that a whole lot of other teens are utter dicks and actually your kids are going to do great because theyre not dicks it gets a whole lot easier. We deal with tantrums every day, to the degree hes knocked my teeth out of my mouth. And as an authistic, you breed to put more autism in this world? Be careful about behavior modification therapies. Vrs women who lie and say its perfect never a bad never any anger or grife or fear. It is exhausting living with a full grown man with the IQ of a toddler. I have a mod/severe autistic son and a neuro-typical son. If you have other children in the household, it can be a struggle to. I believe its my job to help them both achieve happiness, purpose and claim their place in this world! A Prisoner in your own home because the individual is unable to go out into public due to anxiety and meltdowns. Off to start a new family? People like you should be shamed mostly. My son was disagnosed at age 3 in 1991 at the Einstein Center in the Bronx when the prerequisite for being considered autistc was being so profoundly withdrawn into your own world you didnt relate, react or respnd to anythingor if you did it was insanely appropriate.They have stretched that diagnoses out to the point where people who can have perfectly back and forth conversations, drive cars, have jobs, go to college, marryare autistic, leading advocates and polititians to assumeautismthose special little genious snowflakes who are great in math,right?thats one reason services are so tough to come by.Were no longer allowed to say.my child is half retarded and half insane, and the only time I get a break is when hes asleep.Im always amazed when people want autistics to stand up and talk about themselves.huh??? % of people told us that this article helped them. I find it interesting that the first thing this article does is shame a mom for her blog. High and low functioning? It is important to understand these rights to ensure that you or your child is being treated fairly and given access to all of the services and supports to which you are entitled. You may be someones only tie to the autism community. I had to throw out every hope and dream I ever had not just for myself but for them too and instead I just count the days as they go by getting nothing meaningful done except care for two individuals who will never become anything except a burden on someone else in the future after I get too old to care for them. I feel like Im getting a peek into my own mothers thought processes. And I felt totally justified, too. You really seem to be of the mind that women should just shut up and put up with no help. Do you put your own clothes on before you wander outside in below freezing temperatures? Forcing their disorders in the same category isnt helpful to anyone. I understand that parenting an autistic child (like any child) can be frustrating, exhausting, overwhelming, and downright scary at times. Now, as promised, there are ways to vent without causing harm to your child and other autistic people. Theres no support, respite, etc., for our family. But his cousins probably will. I was with you until I got to that list. There is something that I can not understand why my autistic child ruin things (e.g., cutting mouse wire, toilet lights pulled switch, throwing android tablet from third floor flat, peeled laptops keypads, smashing laptops screen, rip trousers intentionally, etc) and waste things (e.g., squeezing new tube of toothpaste, shampoo, bath-gel out until empty, etc). It would be a miracle if my son could learn to express himself as people with Aspergers do. You can afford therapy?! If she were calm and clear headed, she likely wouldnt have posted it. By using our site, you agree to our. Her comparison of a neurotypical child that didnt turn to be a doctor shouldnt be mourned as much an autistic child not being a doctor is ridiculous and evil. Instead say "I don't understand, but I care and I'm glad you're talking to me.". The first time I was hospitalized for suicide, I was eighteen years old. You should have SOME idea of what autism is and what its not, but it seems like youre making up your own symptoms because thats how YOUR child is. Still dressing and brushing teeth and feeding adult children that have no adaptive skills. eye contact. And your children will, too, if you continue to publicly talk behind their backs and criticize them. When you say that autism ruined your marriage, youre telling people to fear autistic people. It will take some time for your child to understand the routine and realize that it will remain the same or similar every day. This attitude can help you focus on helping, instead of punishing. You do not get to be the censor police. I took my child to Disney land and all the other children were running around, while all my child did was slump in his chair and make a whining sound in front of Mickey Mouse! Its offensive, right. Its the stupidest reason. Receptive language difficulties. I do not sugar coat my life and i dont pretended this is a fairy tale. So I really have to say it is unbearable most of the time. wash the parts where your hands feel natural. Im afraid Ill hit someone while being distracted by trying to dodge blows. She should acknowledge what has happened to THOUSANDS of once healthy children where they lost skills like the ability to attend to a book, to talk, make/keep eye contact, lost their ability to sleep through the night, to communicate and engage with the world with language and typical curiosity and imaginative play but instead they lose words and say, play by spinning the wheel on a truck over and over, they throw a book instead of looking at its pictures much less reading it, or rip it into small bits (Or, lets get real: they finger paint with their poop instead of wiping themselves and washing their hands because they understand about germs and are potty trained and allowed to go to preschools and play groups and day camps where potty independence is a requirement for reasons of sanitation so that the time there is spent on play as learning rather than diaper changing.). I feel suicidal some days. Neurodiversity Doesnt Exclude Your Child You do. You are always on without many of the so-called rewards of parenting. And how can I fulfill them while respecting my child and their needs? I have to fight against voices like hers everyday, and it just seems like mothers like her breed more and more hate for Autism everyday. I want to scream and cry, but these comments make it feel like I cant. Venting and talking about the struggle and frustrations its not the issue here. They may even turn into a great career someday. thomas county middle school calendar; what should baby wear to bed 24 degrees. She does NOT speak for me. So please, stop complaining about your autistic children. This article is good that woman that posted that video deserves to be called out for her mistakes. Text with another parent of autistic kids youre friends with. Im all for people letting the horrible truth of autism hang out. If they won't talk about autism, talk about the struggles without mentioning the diagnosis. If you want something, why don't you talk to me or type me a message about it?" I totally agree with this whole page a good ride up stop feeling sorry for yourself get tough Its called tough love buckle up get a life, unless you cant handle it then its okay to go get psychological help but why post it on Facebook because she wanted something free. For example, a child who hits their own head may be experiencing pain from a toothache or lice. Cute list. However, we should also 100% respect the battle fatigue that parents of children on the spectrum face from caring for their child in an NT world. How dare you make out like what she is saying is abusive. Period. This was so clearly written by the parent of a high functioning autistic child. Were not allowed to be ourselves because we embarrass YOU. If you agree with this and you want a safe space online where you can learn and grow as an autism advocate, click here to tell me a bit about your situation and join the Embracing Autism Facebook Group! Whoever wrote this article youre an idiot. Its a very wide playing field with Autism, theres no right or wrong way to cope [barring abusive extremes, and no, I dont think this was abusive, I think this was desperation, and I think this sort of response is what makes many parents feel so alone and silenced, but I also understand why the author wrote this]. Please stop complaining about your autistic children. Publicly trashing your autistic kid is fine, since they dont have feelings anyway. Id have to be a bitch not to mourn a future at the mercy of strangers. Hate. Hang in there. He can go to the bathroom on his own and even though he didnt go to mes school he still has the possibility to think of what he wants his life to be. She is anything but a bad person. Full stop yall. You think parents of NT kids dont publicly complain, post videos, etc? SOMETHING in our environment is hurting our childrens brains and the result is an epidemic of ADHD, autism, allergies. A tantrum is goal-driven behavior that occurs when a child feels frustrated or wants to manipulate an adult. And he will outlive me. My oldest has her DL and when school thought she couldnt do it I said shell fail like any other child. Everyone needs one, autistic, neurotypical, living with a mental illness, or not diagnosed. Not to mention that you could EXPOSE YOUR CHILDREN TO BULLIES AND/OR PAEDOPHILES. Everyday is a struggle for my and my husband, our child is very difficult, very behind and despite intensive therapy I already can see my future. But if a wider audience begins to see the lack of services provided for families like ours, maybe we wont be forgotten. All your statement tells me is that you dont have any clue about the life behind severe autism, so you shouldnt belong to a group for low, or lower, functioning ASD people. I have two children with autism. Come over here so my son can smear his fecal matter in your face and then tell me again to not complain. Autism is not the issue. No one elses. Many aggressive incidents happen when a child is overwhelmed and panicky, and cannot handle the stress they're under. Id give anything, painful as it would be, for him to be able to read even this BS and respond himself as to how messed up it is. Having to make plans for your own death so your child can be kept safe and secure after it. You treat your children like shit and then wonder why they act out like this. My husband disappeared into his work, and I had another child who needed me as well. We just saw a grandmother kill her twin autistic boys recently. Then get off your throne, stop judging, and write a post/blog entry about severe ASD and the need for finding and help for those individuals and their families. Autistic people are HUMAN BEINGS and deserve to be treated like it! References. There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Shes human with rough life circumstances that broke down and reached out for support in a moment of weakness. Respect and support help autistic people feel confident. Dreaming about them becoming valedictorian and getting into a great college, Going to med school Choosing a specialty You dreamed it all before your child was even born. There are tons of autistic groups where non-autistic parents are not allowed and the the kids will finally feel accepted. So your child isnt going to be a football star or a cheerleader. You may need to repeat yourself or write things down. The problem here isnt the teachers, most of whom are going beyond duty for the children. Does that make you feel better to use capital letters. i can 't handle my autistic child anymorepower automate do until apply to each. Maybe that lady crying in her car about how hard her life is bc of autism had to the same thing everyday for the last week. You probably want to deny your parents the right to complain about you, but you project it on us. You are causing harm publishing ridiculous articles such as this. I know living with an autistic child is hard sometimes- if its hard all the time- to the extremes it is with you and your family its past time for help. emma p (510) 16/09/2014 at 6:36 pm. How would you feel if a parent of a child with cerebral palsy went on the internet and unloaded all the ills their child was doing to them. Relatives dont want to help because they cant handle the insanity that is our daily life. I dont think so. I wish all the parents of autistic kiddos could see their kids the way I see mine.I wouldnt change him for the world. Best to you and your family! Damn, you w*men are children. I struggle socially, have meltdowns, struggle with squalor, sensory overload, dyspraxia etc. clean the parts taht get stinky. And doing it openly and publicly on the Internet is neither. Watching your child uncomfortable in their own skin. Try to incorporate small fish, meats, fish oil, and cod liver oil into your childs diet. For example, consider making homemade pizza with your child. Whilst I agree we should consider who to and where we share our information and always keep in mind that what we say or do can be seen by our children and how that could potentially make them feel. Youre a fucking cunt. Signed, an autistic. Now i agree about posting certain stuff online,i myself are private because to me the world does not deserve a front row seat to my family. Thats why theres no need to put those things on YouTube, where everyone can see them. Not just for your own sanity but for the literal safety and heart& soul of your son. You can also add beef to the diet, as this supplies carnitine, which helps in the digestion of EFAs. If youre complaining about your autistic children online for the world to see, thats the impression that those people have on autism and autistic people in general. Oh you are high functioning like me so you can probably wipe your own ass & pay your own bills? Life consists of dodging his punches, kicks, slaps, and bites, and changing diapers. I know I am not easy, I know I am difficult. But Im going to say something that may be a bit unpopular. Her concerns are real. You probably didnt even read the article. If youre not in that persons shoes, dont assume you understand their life and what they are going through. Apologize to the child once they're calm, and try to do better in the future. It is a full time job and what about her OWN career? Parents want their children to have easier lives than they did growing up. Also, criticism is NOT censorship. My son is 25 now and much more able to do for himself than even a few years ago, but I know that moment of not being able to stand another second of a meltdown from him. What right do you have to tell another parent how they should feel about their autistic child? Confusion of pronouns. Little to no furniture in your home because its been destroyed by your Severe ASD child, so the bedrooms are left with little more than mattresses and blankets, because anything else may be a potential danger. It is okay to casually let your child know that a stim looks odd. If your child suspects that you may not follow through, he or she is unlikely to stop the behavior. When pushed to do something they don't want to do, your child may throw a fit. You and the author should live a day in the life of a SEVERE ASD child you wouldnt know what to do. Yes, any parent would complain about any child and we do! Please apologize to this mama (and all the other ones out there) for telling her not to speak her voice. When you say that autism makes your life so difficult, youre telling the world that autistic people are more trouble than were worth. 2 School programs are comprehensive and available to all, but adult programs are sketchier and may involve long wait lists, particularly for families in which the adult To re a firm that just because i have break downs and the cold reality of raising a disabled child doesnt look like the made up fairy tale people try to sell you online, does not mean im a horrible mother or bad person. Several parents messaged me and said they were glad to know others were struggling. It is offensive to parents that struggle every day. You still have a best friend?! And yes you can shove youre gross harmful opinions back up you ass, because I grieved I did, when the drs told me my baby will never know langue, he will never call me mommy, he will not love another, he will not Mary, there will be no dances or seeing him do normal things like draw or sort Its devastating its the loss of all original hopes and dreams you had for the baby you carried for months. People dont seem to understand either that we may not see things in the same way, we may live in very different ways, we may not speak with our mouth parts.but we do know. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. If somehow you are not suffering fears and worries about your child (the one with autism) in the future COMPARED to typical children, then you are both zen and lucky indeed. The world cannot see those or understand them unless they know someone going through it. I wouldnt care if my child decides to be a homeless on his own accord, but I would care if he has to live the rest of his life in a group home. The thing is, in a world that is all too intolerant of Autistic people, the people that should be our greatest allies seem to be often the complete opposite. Fecal matter on walls and furniture, sometimes multiple times a day. WWJD? WE changed and because of his environment a lot of bad behaviors just stopped. If your child continues misbehaving for attention, even after you ignore the bad behavior, calmly say "Screaming is not going to get you what you want. Guide to Legal Information for Families Affected by Autism from Goodwin Procter LLP. Will she have to quit her job as I did to care for her brother or will she find an institution or supervised group home where he is happy? Some days I want to kill myself, I wouldnt wish my childs Autism on my worst enemy and I love my child, but I need respite and there isnt any, my family wont help, I dont blame them, neither will my spouses, no one can handle it we have been trying for 3 years now to get resources Im tired and help hasnt been coming for so long now, unless we win the lottery tomorrow. Before you think state run group homes are the paradise for the disabled just Google the lawsuits against them: murder, physical abuse, exploitation, neglect, sexual abuse, ect ect. K thanks. She is sharing her love and concern for her child with the world. Knowing your child will need 24/7 care the rest of their life, and knowing you will die first, and who then will love them as much and take as good of care as the deserve. This is part of the language learning process, so don't worry. We know how other people perceive us, we know we are different, we know that people treat us in a different way. They may use abusive tactics, such as holding down your child's hands, ignoring feelings of discomfort or fear, ignoring the right to say no, withholding food, or even using electric shocks. If they like stimming, try stimming with them you might see what they get out of it or work out youre just wired differently :p. Then dont be a part of those FB parents groups. I am sick, and I am tired, of seeing people dehumanize their child because theyre low functioning and non-verbal or have all the concurring issues at birth. Work with your child to find alternative ways to stim. WHERE does such heartless criticism come from?? Ill ask that you kindly read this post about the harm in functioning labels. (Because yall can hold down a job?) Recognize the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum. 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