Because of my sister. When is she coming back? Shes crying. Im picking up soda and Im like, Ah! Dont do that. Im going to live forever! Then I would trip on my Velcro shoes and I would drop the soda and it would explode. He says, Hug her. You brought her out like Maury for immigrants. Hasan, you are the brother. Im like, No, no! She was breakdancing, and Im like, Who the fuck are you? You dont know me? Ive no idea who you are. I hated that br0wn girl so much. My sister looks at me, shes like, They dont know what you did. Youre like, Whats the difference? We put that in our car. Thats a statement. Therefore I will grant your wish. Nothing! Its difficult to get in this country. And I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject. We love this country, please believe me. Nobody loves this country more than us. Nothing! I just want my mom. The same year, he wrote Minhaj's speech for the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. This is America. All the time. So make up your mind. Were sitting on my living room table. A major theme of the show is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a high school classmate and her family. And now Im sweating through my suit. The night this airs, friends send me text messages. I go to the airport. Be a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want. Id eaten off their plates, kissed their daughter. I was like, Why? You know when I emigrated to this country in 1982, I thought if I let you go to a school dance, you would join a gang, get a girl pregnant and become a drug dealer, in one night. But we had those first secrets. None of you guys are smiling. I was like, Hey! Is someone sitting there? No more birthdays. I call my dad, he says Good job. What? You endure racism, and if it doesnt cost you your life, pay it. Not you, not you, not you. You make me sound like a refugee baby. Thats true. We got Batman, baby! Turn left. Weve got customers. I got a career I hate from my parents. Its a lie. We just celebrated our one-year anniversary, so its one year down, forever to go. [panting] Alright, go. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. And I look over her shoulder, and I see Jeff Burke putting a corsage on Bethanys wrist. Compromise? It went whiter than white. So Hindus Hindus dont eat beef. I put on my Ghostbusters proton pack. As immigrants we always have to put on these press releases to prove our patriotism. I cant tell you how blue it is. I would get, like, Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha. Saddam Hussein. It was my English teacher. Am I crazy? And I was like, No, youre not crazy. Why dont you ask me the question, then Ill ask Hasan? Thats the way our parents are. In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Hey, audition for The Daily Show. I submit a tape. Her house, my house. This is a secret that nobody told me! Irrespective of creed, class, color, find those people. God bless. People ask, Where does that come from? Look at this kids parents. My dad knows you! Hes like, Yeah, Im sure he does. I pinch myself. All the laughs aside, the stories that Hasan Minhaj narrates about growing up and becoming the person he is today are deeply vulnerable and painfully honest. Mr Reed can give you a ride home. And I was like, No, I have my bike. And I just biked home and played Mario Kart. Pizza Hut new big pizza sliders are here. I was like, I made it! Do tell. I would have gotten a slap. I love that so much. I've identified my statements in . Alright, you guys are all killing it academically but I want you to know there is more to life than just getting into UC Berkeley. One kid was like, I know, getting into Stanford. Hes like, No, you have to live a life worth talking about, which is why Im making it mandatory for everyone in this class to go to prom. Im like, All 30 of us? Now, its just kind of liberating. I have a personality. Where do you think you got that from, dummy? I decided not to go. Everybody in the class looked at me. What? You werent the same for me, fine. Boom. This is what Dad fought for. Ding-dong. What is that like? See production, box office & company info, 2017 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner, Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! What will people think? I dont know if you know, but every time a br0wn father says log kya kahenge, a star actually falls from the sky. But I take one last look at the restaurant. There you go, Uncle Sam. Im balancing the corsage. Every br0wn birthday party. 78% - Critics. Mr Pendletons like, So, lovebirds, what happened? Patriot Act. She just looks down. Im going to fucking kill you. Click. I'm home. [makes long, crackling, buzzing noise] [blows] If someone picked up the phone, Hey, get off the phone! Dad walks through. You know the way it is. I cant say anything. Were all going to prom? I cant tell him that. This has, um This has been a very good year for me. Its Jon. Dad, your favorite color? Stanford! What? Youve seen this on TV. Its good people and bad people. Coming into our house eating our Fruit Roll-Ups they dont speak the language I say we tell them to go back where they came from. Hes like, You cant say that. Youre a good kid. I hope you make up your mind. Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. [slow, stupid voice] Uh, I dont understand other cultures, bro. Slapping is important. [laughter] Youre not Liam Neeson. Stand-up, 2022 Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month TV & Streaming Calendar. Do you need a ride home? I want to be Batman. Well, of course. I can be me! So Im going back and forth. Hey, do you believe in God? Much like his first special, Homecoming King, the comedian returns on stage to share his latest life update with the audience. That was your chance. And I think its just that, like, immigrants love secrets. Whatever. Because of her, I got to marry the love of my life. Im fucked. Please reference Error Code 2121 when contacting customer service. I would love to meet up. Shes like, Yeah, lets meet up. And I go from LA to New York, direct flight. Thank you. I am Jon Stewart. YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. Thats a hand. To tell them youre good enough. My mom and my sisters are crying. I do. Doctor sees me. Birthdays arent their thing. I cant hear you, Dad. You are shitting on my dreams. I didnt say that. Oh, 15,000 miles. No beef! Right? Its all coming at this girl. Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me? Crush our enemies.. Why are you telling me this right now? Every conversation with my dad is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. With his new Netflix standup special, Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj proves his winning streak is no fluke. You have to be brave, his father urged. You know the way our family is. I cant die. Bethany, comma, enter. Address. There are just a few apps missing. Dude, we did that to the Japanese. Be like this, be like this. [laughter] [whistling, whooping] Whats up? Do that with this, and then lick the lips and go, Whats up? Im practicing it. My mom is frying pakoras. 10:50. Reply. Hasan bhai! Im like, Yo, kick rocks! I go play tetherball. Can you write another? No, I cant. Dont clap. I didnt know that people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester (2022) - full transcript Features comedian Hasan Minhaj as he shares his thoughts on fertility, fatherhood, and freedom of speech by discussing some of his recent life events. Come to New York. Hasan, were normal. But she didnt. Its so big, it barely fits in his Facebook profile. Streaming Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) sub indo. This is really nice. And I look at her, and Im like, Oh, my God. His story may be different than yours, but were all here together in, as Minhaj describes it, this fair and lovely world., Homecoming King La Quinta Inn! So for her birthday, he brings everyone into the living room. I take off. But then she would go back to India. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. All we had was that stolen moment in my driveway. Just to see her one last time. Look at his brother. And somehow he makes it through. Homecoming King navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny. For years I resented that br0wn girl. Now Im standing outside the restaurant and I cant even concentrate, because I know shes more evolved than me. Following the success of his standup special "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King" (Netflix 2017), Minhaj left "The Daily Show" in 2018. Cheese! Good job? During this period, he also appeared in the films "Rough Night . Muslims are like, No statues! Now Im losing hope. Put your head down. Every immigrant father feels like if they brought you to the US Happy Birthday. Thats it. Alright, maybe I didnt cure it, but everyone has a purpose. Want to audition for The Daily Show? Thats not a question. Fine. Please dont say anything. And I look at her. Shes from Nebraska. ursuline street new orleans murders; how old is elder debra brown morton; Collections. Now everybodys looking at me so Ive got to improvise. Were going home. I walk out the door, but then I hear a voice. You know about this. Were in the hospital. Your son just won the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Residency, fam! Never happens. I popped out here. I wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, dont let this experience define you. So by my senior year of high school, I had yet to go to a school dance, I had been cut from the basketball team, and I had just got off this medicine called Accutane so my skin and face was peeling. Ive got this shit following me around on the playground. I could have been like, Dad, fight me. Im standing there. My dads from that generation where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay the American dream tax. Princess from here down, Toad from here up. JOIN NOW So I tell him the prom story. Shes like, Next time, me, you and Raj should hang out. Im like, Yeah, lets not do that. And Im walking to the subway station. Dont mind if I do. I want that bike. But I was like, Hang on to your cards. But for the most part, I actually think about it the way my dad does. Weve got to round them up, weve got to contain them. And Ben Afflecks like, Are you crazy? the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Were the rappers that made it. Jasuriah? Regal But, you know, if life gives you lemons, sometimes youve got to make revenge lemonade. Sprinkle in a little irony. Log kya kahenge? Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King, is the theatrical debut of humorist and "The Daily Show" correspondent Hasan Minhaj. Free Wi-Fi? Shes like, Hasan bhai, why dont you take it out? And as an elder brother, I felt entitled to that bike. I can be an Indian ghostbuster. I put on a Salwar Kameez. Theyre like, Oh! Cinemark Its too much. Hasan Minhaj ( / hsn mnh ( d) / HUSS-n MIN-hahzh, -hahj; [a] born September 23, 1985) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host of Indian descent. So Im telling him stories about my life, hes telling me stories about his. Why dont we study at your house? I was like, Ive got to go. What, invite you over to my house? My life is definitive proof that once you go br0wn, youve got to lock that shit down. I hope she has a good personality. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! They love them. 25. Very heavy. Hes 12 years old. It elevates your game. Gods not up in heaven being like, Youre racist, good job, thats what I always wanted.. 30 second time-out. Last two names: Hasan Minhaj, Bethany Reed. Fuck. Come on! You cant do that. Boom! I wasnt very good. My secret was, I want to be a comedian. She said, I want to be a journalist. We promised we would follow our dreams, no matter what people would think. What are you into? I was like, What?, What do I like? Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? Its not fair, because shes not a refugee. And wed be walking through the aisles, and my dad would pick up yogurt. Hey idiot, pick up your phone. Ill see all the employees, Hannity, Coulter, OReilly, leave their building, cross the street, walk past me, and line up for halal chicken and rice. How many letters are in Rajesh Rengatramanajananam? Im like, Uh Racist Randy wants that red sauce. Your brain can be racist, but your body will just betray you. If you're unfamiliar with Minhaj, chances are you've seen him lately. Keema roti, me? Hes like, Hanson, this is not funny. He walks over to the board, he pulls it down. Im really nervous. Remember how I told you that immigrants love secrets? This paper aims to explore the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the post 9/11 era. Hell, no. And I had a sister. Why do we got to adhere to this weird shit from back over there? Would follow our dreams, No, youre racist, but your body will betray. Round them up, weve got to adhere to this weird shit from back over there period he! Kissed their daughter got a career I hate from my parents Code 2121 contacting. Princess from here up off their plates, kissed their daughter have bike! I just biked home and played Mario Kart on to your cards on my Velcro and! 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